If Only People Could Understand What Children with Autism Want
I get many questions from people who are frustrated. They are dealing with behavior problems that are not easy for them to solve.
Here’s the question I ask. “Why do you think he does that?” That question generally starts a discussion that reveals how well the person really knows the student.
The better we know our students, the more likely we will be able to discover why they do what they do.
Here are some thoughts. . .
If only people understood. . .
Autism can be a mystery. . .a puzzle. . .
It can leave us perplexed. . .bewildered. . . confused.
Here is our challenge.
We need to be detectives. Colombo and Sherlock Holmes were observers of details. And that is what we need to do. Watch. Pay attention. Look at the bigger picture.
And this is what I find
Those who really try to “learn” these students do. They figure out a lot about how individual students think and reason and understand.
Answering questions at a workshop
We were discussing how to deal with behavior problems. And we were talking about looking at the world from the student’s point of view. Answering questions like, “What could the student be thinking?” Or “What did the situation look like from the student’s point of view?” Good questions.
Then I asked one more question
I encouraged the participants to fill in the blank. They needed to think of a student they worked with and then finish the sentence from that student’s point of view.
The question: If only people understood ___________.
Here are some of the answers:
It takes me a long time to process what you are telling me
How exhausting it is for me to focus for any length of time
How hard I try to do my best
How sensitive I am to all sensory stimulation
I scream because I don’t know what else to do
I want to please you
I want something and I don’t know how to ask for it
I want something and I don’t know how to ask for it
How hard it is to sit still & attend
How I learn best
That I am trying my best
How I feel when I can’t tell you something
Why I act the way I do
What I want
Why I don’t get off the bus
Why I hit subs and teachers
How stressful life is
That I need breaks
I don’t want to do that
I know if you like me
I know if you are afraid of me
I am standing right here when you are talking about me
So here’s another question
Trying to understand what other people are thinking is a skill that students with Autism Spectrum Disorders are likely to have difficulty with. Do those of us who live with them and teach them have the ability to understand what they are thinking?
And one last question. . .
If we understand what our students think, how do we respond?
© 2009 Linda Hodgdon, M.Ed., CCC-SLP
www.AutismFamilyOnline.com
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Using Visuals
From a reader...There have been lots of successes with using visuals. But, for two older, high functioning girls who also struggle with mental health issues, using a "FIRST calm down, THEN we can talk" really worked for them and made a difference for the family.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Visual Strategies Success Story
A visual strategies success story from a reader..."Even though my son is a teenager, he was still "climbing" into the car - putting his knees on the seat first, and then turning himself around and sitting down. We took pictures of him getting in the car "the right way" and the "the wrong way" and now he gets in the car "the right way" 99% of the time."
Monday, October 12, 2009
What Are Important Foundation Social Skills in Autism?
I gave a workshop recently where one of the participants asked a really important question. “What are social skills?” That question promoted some discussion that demonstrated we don’t all have the same ideas about the social skill needs and challenges of our students. One attendee suggested teaching social skills meant focusing on teaching conversation skills. Others shared a broader view.
What ARE Social Skills?
Learning social skills is challenging for students with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Social skills are identified as a prime area for educational intervention. But what are social skills?
Before determining HOW to teach, it is critical to decide WHAT to teach. What areas need to be considered?
Core areas of social development are skills that lay a foundation for social relationships. These skills are essential tools to become an interactive part of social relationships. The core skills are necessary for participating in social environments with ease.
Think of the foundation of a house. A strong foundation provides support for what is built on top. Having strong core social skills will prepare students for learning more ways to have relationships and engage in social opportunities.
Core Skills for Social Development
Here are three core skills that are essential for successful social development. These are basics. It is important for students to have competence in these core areas.
Establishing a Social Connection
By definition, students with ASD demonstrate challenge attending to people and responding to them. In the first weeks and months of life, that bond between mother and child is the beginning of social development. It is the giggle and coo and peek-a-boo of babies.
We talk about developing a bond between the student and other people. It incorporates paying attention to people and responding to them. High-level language is not a factor here. Paying attention and responding is the goal.
Joint attention refers to making a connection with people and paying attention to the same things they are attending to.
Establishing a social connection has to do with developing that ‘give and take’ relationship with another person that the rest of social interaction is based on.
Communication Basics
Communication is what connects us to the rest of the world. It is a complex process that encompasses understanding and expression and more. Developing an effective communication system will give students the tools for social participation.
Understanding the environment is critical. Comprehending the communication of other people is necessary for a student to participate in activities and interact appropriately with others.
Effectively expressing wants and needs, giving information, expressing emotion in appropriate ways and sharing experiences are important social communication goals.
Self-Regulation
Children need to develop the ability to manage their behavior and their emotions. As they acquire an interest in the world around them they need to learn to modulate how they respond.
In the beginning, parents and other caregivers provide children with external controls. They provide the structure so the student’s behavior will be acceptable in the environment. Gradually, children learn to manage their own behaviors and emotions so they will be appropriate for the environment they are in.
Children can become active participants in social environments when they learn to modify their behavior for the situation.
What comes next?
Foundation skills prepare students for further learning. Establishing a social connection, developing effective communication skills (both understanding and expression) and being able to manage and modulate behavior are the beginning.
When those foundation skills are present, students will have the tools they need to participate in more social activities. The core skills enable students to benefit more from social opportunities.
Keep this in mind. . .
These core skills are some of the first skills to address in early intervention. But here is a caution. Just because students are older, don’t be fooled into thinking it is not important to pay attention to the core skills. Some older students still need to strengthen their core skills. These are important skills to teach if the student needs to learn them.
This is just the beginning. . .
Identifying what skills students need to learn is the critical beginning for social development. When students have gained competence in these basic skills, they will be more responsive to social opportunities. Strength in these core social skill areas will help students prosper in social environments and social relationships.
© 2009 Linda Hodgdon, M.ED., CCC-SLP
www.AutismFamilyOnline.com
What ARE Social Skills?
Learning social skills is challenging for students with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Social skills are identified as a prime area for educational intervention. But what are social skills?
Before determining HOW to teach, it is critical to decide WHAT to teach. What areas need to be considered?
Core areas of social development are skills that lay a foundation for social relationships. These skills are essential tools to become an interactive part of social relationships. The core skills are necessary for participating in social environments with ease.
Think of the foundation of a house. A strong foundation provides support for what is built on top. Having strong core social skills will prepare students for learning more ways to have relationships and engage in social opportunities.
Core Skills for Social Development
Here are three core skills that are essential for successful social development. These are basics. It is important for students to have competence in these core areas.
Establishing a Social Connection
By definition, students with ASD demonstrate challenge attending to people and responding to them. In the first weeks and months of life, that bond between mother and child is the beginning of social development. It is the giggle and coo and peek-a-boo of babies.
We talk about developing a bond between the student and other people. It incorporates paying attention to people and responding to them. High-level language is not a factor here. Paying attention and responding is the goal.
Joint attention refers to making a connection with people and paying attention to the same things they are attending to.
Establishing a social connection has to do with developing that ‘give and take’ relationship with another person that the rest of social interaction is based on.
Communication Basics
Communication is what connects us to the rest of the world. It is a complex process that encompasses understanding and expression and more. Developing an effective communication system will give students the tools for social participation.
Understanding the environment is critical. Comprehending the communication of other people is necessary for a student to participate in activities and interact appropriately with others.
Effectively expressing wants and needs, giving information, expressing emotion in appropriate ways and sharing experiences are important social communication goals.
Self-Regulation
Children need to develop the ability to manage their behavior and their emotions. As they acquire an interest in the world around them they need to learn to modulate how they respond.
In the beginning, parents and other caregivers provide children with external controls. They provide the structure so the student’s behavior will be acceptable in the environment. Gradually, children learn to manage their own behaviors and emotions so they will be appropriate for the environment they are in.
Children can become active participants in social environments when they learn to modify their behavior for the situation.
What comes next?
Foundation skills prepare students for further learning. Establishing a social connection, developing effective communication skills (both understanding and expression) and being able to manage and modulate behavior are the beginning.
When those foundation skills are present, students will have the tools they need to participate in more social activities. The core skills enable students to benefit more from social opportunities.
Keep this in mind. . .
These core skills are some of the first skills to address in early intervention. But here is a caution. Just because students are older, don’t be fooled into thinking it is not important to pay attention to the core skills. Some older students still need to strengthen their core skills. These are important skills to teach if the student needs to learn them.
This is just the beginning. . .
Identifying what skills students need to learn is the critical beginning for social development. When students have gained competence in these basic skills, they will be more responsive to social opportunities. Strength in these core social skill areas will help students prosper in social environments and social relationships.
© 2009 Linda Hodgdon, M.ED., CCC-SLP
www.AutismFamilyOnline.com
Monday, September 28, 2009
How to Create Bedtime Routines
How to Create Bedtime Routines for Children with Autism
Regardless of age, good bedtime routines are important. They help students fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up in the morning rested and ready for a successful day at school.
Unfortunately, a number of our students on the autism spectrum (and many other students, too) have difficulty establishing a good sleep habit. There will be lots of individual differences in sleep patterns, but working toward following a consistent evening routine can help achieve success. Here’s how.
Make it a priority
People more commonly create a morning routine. Getting ready for bed at night can easily become a much less structured, much more hurried part of the day. It is important to dedicate the time necessary to follow a successful routine.
How much sleep?
First determine how much sleep a child needs. A good test is to observe what happens during the summer or on a weekend when there is no specific time to get up. Some simple math will tell you what time he or she needs to go to bed.
Keep in mind that when there are multiple children in the family, their sleep needs may be very different. One of the most difficult challenges teachers can have at school is trying to teach children who have not gotten enough sleep last night.
Make a list
Create a list of everything that needs to be done as a part of getting ready for bed. Be sure to include all the things that are a necessary part of the evening. Here are some possibilities.
Traditional go-to-bed activities
Have a snack
Take off clothes
Put dirty clothes in the hamper
Take a bath
Wash hair
Brush teeth
Put PJs on
Go to the bathroom
Find favorite sleep blanket or animal
Set the alarm
Say prayers
Read a book
Sing a song
Turn on music
Go to sleep
Here are more options that become a part of ending the day
Check the calendar
Get clothes ready for tomorrow
Find things you need to take to school
Get backpack ready for the morning
Check lunch menu
Pack lunch
Now an important question
How much time will it take? What you begin to discover is that you really have an “ending the day” routine. It may not be just about going to bed. So the critical question. . . .how much time will it take? Realistically.
And here’s the problem
It probably takes more time than you think. One important factor is the age and capability of the student. How much is he able to do independently? Or how much “teaching time” do you need so that she can learn to become independent with the tasks involved.
Now you can develop a routine
Kids LOVE routines. They thrive on routines. A regular nightly routine helps them learn to be sleepy. A good evening routine also helps students have good feelings. It creates a sense of security and control.
Winding down
Try to sequence the evening activities so they will gradually wind down and create a sense of calm. That is why bathing near the end can be a good idea. Soft music, lights down, massage or other calming activities help.
Let your child know the routine
A visual schedule of end of day activities is a perfect tool to guide children through the necessary steps. Sometimes people put “go to bed” on a daily schedule. That is OK, but creating a “mini-schedule” of all those end of day activities will help establish a consistent routine.
Be a time keeper
Try using a visual timer to let kids know how much time each activity can take. That will prevent the procrastinators from succeeding. Sticking to a time limit is important in the evening, so that your timing goals can be reached.
Simple steps with great results
How children handle the day can be directly related to what kind of a night they had last night. Spend some time in the evening getting ready for the morning. Then take steps to help get a good night’s sleep. These are two important steps toward having a good day tomorrow.
© 2009 Linda Hodgdon, M.Ed., CCC-SLP
www.AutismFamilyOnline.com
Regardless of age, good bedtime routines are important. They help students fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up in the morning rested and ready for a successful day at school.
Unfortunately, a number of our students on the autism spectrum (and many other students, too) have difficulty establishing a good sleep habit. There will be lots of individual differences in sleep patterns, but working toward following a consistent evening routine can help achieve success. Here’s how.
Make it a priority
People more commonly create a morning routine. Getting ready for bed at night can easily become a much less structured, much more hurried part of the day. It is important to dedicate the time necessary to follow a successful routine.
How much sleep?
First determine how much sleep a child needs. A good test is to observe what happens during the summer or on a weekend when there is no specific time to get up. Some simple math will tell you what time he or she needs to go to bed.
Keep in mind that when there are multiple children in the family, their sleep needs may be very different. One of the most difficult challenges teachers can have at school is trying to teach children who have not gotten enough sleep last night.
Make a list
Create a list of everything that needs to be done as a part of getting ready for bed. Be sure to include all the things that are a necessary part of the evening. Here are some possibilities.
Traditional go-to-bed activities
Have a snack
Take off clothes
Put dirty clothes in the hamper
Take a bath
Wash hair
Brush teeth
Put PJs on
Go to the bathroom
Find favorite sleep blanket or animal
Set the alarm
Say prayers
Read a book
Sing a song
Turn on music
Go to sleep
Here are more options that become a part of ending the day
Check the calendar
Get clothes ready for tomorrow
Find things you need to take to school
Get backpack ready for the morning
Check lunch menu
Pack lunch
Now an important question
How much time will it take? What you begin to discover is that you really have an “ending the day” routine. It may not be just about going to bed. So the critical question. . . .how much time will it take? Realistically.
And here’s the problem
It probably takes more time than you think. One important factor is the age and capability of the student. How much is he able to do independently? Or how much “teaching time” do you need so that she can learn to become independent with the tasks involved.
Now you can develop a routine
Kids LOVE routines. They thrive on routines. A regular nightly routine helps them learn to be sleepy. A good evening routine also helps students have good feelings. It creates a sense of security and control.
Winding down
Try to sequence the evening activities so they will gradually wind down and create a sense of calm. That is why bathing near the end can be a good idea. Soft music, lights down, massage or other calming activities help.
Let your child know the routine
A visual schedule of end of day activities is a perfect tool to guide children through the necessary steps. Sometimes people put “go to bed” on a daily schedule. That is OK, but creating a “mini-schedule” of all those end of day activities will help establish a consistent routine.
Be a time keeper
Try using a visual timer to let kids know how much time each activity can take. That will prevent the procrastinators from succeeding. Sticking to a time limit is important in the evening, so that your timing goals can be reached.
Simple steps with great results
How children handle the day can be directly related to what kind of a night they had last night. Spend some time in the evening getting ready for the morning. Then take steps to help get a good night’s sleep. These are two important steps toward having a good day tomorrow.
© 2009 Linda Hodgdon, M.Ed., CCC-SLP
www.AutismFamilyOnline.com
Monday, September 14, 2009
Success Story
One of my newsletter readers wrote to me about their success with visual strategies...
"The most profound experiences that I have had using visual strategies is when a new child comes to me and his/her parents are so frustrated that their child not only does not talk, but also has behavior problems. I introduce the child (and parents) to visual strategies and the parents are always amazed at how quickly their child understands how to communicate. I then give the parents a few visual strategies (pictures, signs/gestures, etc.) to use at home and they come back the next session with a report of how well the visual strategies are working at home and in such a short time. Then it's just a process of building on what works for that child."
This is a great example that I hope can inspire others!
"The most profound experiences that I have had using visual strategies is when a new child comes to me and his/her parents are so frustrated that their child not only does not talk, but also has behavior problems. I introduce the child (and parents) to visual strategies and the parents are always amazed at how quickly their child understands how to communicate. I then give the parents a few visual strategies (pictures, signs/gestures, etc.) to use at home and they come back the next session with a report of how well the visual strategies are working at home and in such a short time. Then it's just a process of building on what works for that child."
This is a great example that I hope can inspire others!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Getting on board with new technology
Recently I purchased the new iPhone. I'm learning how to make this technology work for me, and for those with autism. I'm excited about the possibilities!
I've also become a member on Facebook (search for Linda Hodgdon) and Twitter (http://twitter.com/lindahodgdon). I am looking forward to making new "friends" on these sites.
Things are starting to pick up around here with it being back to school season! Check back soon!
I've also become a member on Facebook (search for Linda Hodgdon) and Twitter (http://twitter.com/lindahodgdon). I am looking forward to making new "friends" on these sites.
Things are starting to pick up around here with it being back to school season! Check back soon!
Monday, June 8, 2009
What Are Important Foundation Social Skills in Autism?
I gave a workshop recently where one of the participants asked a really important question. “What are social skills?” That question promoted some discussion that demonstrated we don’t all have the same ideas about the social skill needs and challenges of our students with autism. One attendee suggested teaching social skills meant focusing on teaching conversation skills. Others shared a broader view.
What ARE Social Skills?
Learning social skills is challenging for students with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Social skills are identified as a prime area for educational intervention. But what are social skills?
Before determining HOW to teach, it is critical to decide WHAT to teach. What areas need to be considered?
Core areas of social development are skills that lay a foundation for social relationships. These skills are essential tools to become an interactive part of social relationships. The core skills are necessary for participating in social environments with ease.
Think of the foundation of a house. A strong foundation provides support for what is built on top. Having strong core social skills will prepare students for learning more ways to have relationships and engage in social opportunities.
Core Skills for Social Development
Here are three core skills that are essential for successful social development. These are basics. It is important for students to have competence in these core areas.
Establishing a Social Connection
By definition, students with ASD demonstrate challenge attending to people and responding to them. In the first weeks and months of life, that bond between mother and child is the beginning of social development. It is the giggle and coo and peek-a-boo of babies.
We talk about developing a bond between the student and other people. It incorporates paying attention to people and responding to them. High-level language is not a factor here. Paying attention and responding is the goal.
Joint attention refers to making a connection with people and paying attention to the same things they are attending to.
Establishing a social connection has to do with developing that ‘give and take’ relationship with another person that the rest of social interaction is based on.
Communication Basics
Communication is what connects us to the rest of the world. It is a complex process that encompasses understanding and expression and more. Developing an effective communication system will give students the tools for social participation.
Understanding the environment is critical. Comprehending the communication of other people is necessary for a student to participate in activities and interact appropriately with others.
Effectively expressing wants and needs, giving information, expressing emotion in appropriate ways and sharing experiences are important social communication goals.
Self-Regulation
Children need to develop the ability to manage their behavior and their emotions. As they acquire an interest in the world around them they need to learn to modulate how they respond.
In the beginning, parents and other caregivers provide children with external controls. They provide the structure so the student’s behavior will be acceptable in the environment. Gradually, children learn to manage their own behaviors and emotions so they will be appropriate for the environment they are in.
Children can become active participants in social environments when they learn to modify their behavior for the situation.
What comes next?
Foundation skills prepare students for further learning. Establishing a social connection, developing effective communication skills (both understanding and expression) and being able to manage and modulate behavior are the beginning.
When those foundation skills are present, students will have the tools they need to participate in more social activities. The core skills enable students to benefit more from social opportunities.
Keep this in mind. . .
These core skills are some of the first skills to address in early intervention. But here is a caution. Just because students are older, don’t be fooled into thinking it is not important to pay attention to the core skills. Some older students still need to strengthen their core skills. These are important skills to teach if the student needs to learn them.
This is just the beginning. . .
Identifying what skills students need to learn is the critical beginning for social development. When students have gained competence in these basic skills, they will be more responsive to social opportunities. Strength in these core social skill areas will help students prosper in social environments and social relationships.
© 2009 Linda Hodgdon, M.ED., CCC-SLP
www.AutismFamilyOnline.com
Linda Hodgdon, M.ED., CCC-SLP is a Speech-Language Pathologist and consultant for Autism Spectrum Disorders. She is the author of the best seller, Visual Strategies for Improving Communication. To learn more or to sign up for her FREE E-newsletter, visit www.UseVisualStrategies.com
What ARE Social Skills?
Learning social skills is challenging for students with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Social skills are identified as a prime area for educational intervention. But what are social skills?
Before determining HOW to teach, it is critical to decide WHAT to teach. What areas need to be considered?
Core areas of social development are skills that lay a foundation for social relationships. These skills are essential tools to become an interactive part of social relationships. The core skills are necessary for participating in social environments with ease.
Think of the foundation of a house. A strong foundation provides support for what is built on top. Having strong core social skills will prepare students for learning more ways to have relationships and engage in social opportunities.
Core Skills for Social Development
Here are three core skills that are essential for successful social development. These are basics. It is important for students to have competence in these core areas.
Establishing a Social Connection
By definition, students with ASD demonstrate challenge attending to people and responding to them. In the first weeks and months of life, that bond between mother and child is the beginning of social development. It is the giggle and coo and peek-a-boo of babies.
We talk about developing a bond between the student and other people. It incorporates paying attention to people and responding to them. High-level language is not a factor here. Paying attention and responding is the goal.
Joint attention refers to making a connection with people and paying attention to the same things they are attending to.
Establishing a social connection has to do with developing that ‘give and take’ relationship with another person that the rest of social interaction is based on.
Communication Basics
Communication is what connects us to the rest of the world. It is a complex process that encompasses understanding and expression and more. Developing an effective communication system will give students the tools for social participation.
Understanding the environment is critical. Comprehending the communication of other people is necessary for a student to participate in activities and interact appropriately with others.
Effectively expressing wants and needs, giving information, expressing emotion in appropriate ways and sharing experiences are important social communication goals.
Self-Regulation
Children need to develop the ability to manage their behavior and their emotions. As they acquire an interest in the world around them they need to learn to modulate how they respond.
In the beginning, parents and other caregivers provide children with external controls. They provide the structure so the student’s behavior will be acceptable in the environment. Gradually, children learn to manage their own behaviors and emotions so they will be appropriate for the environment they are in.
Children can become active participants in social environments when they learn to modify their behavior for the situation.
What comes next?
Foundation skills prepare students for further learning. Establishing a social connection, developing effective communication skills (both understanding and expression) and being able to manage and modulate behavior are the beginning.
When those foundation skills are present, students will have the tools they need to participate in more social activities. The core skills enable students to benefit more from social opportunities.
Keep this in mind. . .
These core skills are some of the first skills to address in early intervention. But here is a caution. Just because students are older, don’t be fooled into thinking it is not important to pay attention to the core skills. Some older students still need to strengthen their core skills. These are important skills to teach if the student needs to learn them.
This is just the beginning. . .
Identifying what skills students need to learn is the critical beginning for social development. When students have gained competence in these basic skills, they will be more responsive to social opportunities. Strength in these core social skill areas will help students prosper in social environments and social relationships.
© 2009 Linda Hodgdon, M.ED., CCC-SLP
www.AutismFamilyOnline.com
Linda Hodgdon, M.ED., CCC-SLP is a Speech-Language Pathologist and consultant for Autism Spectrum Disorders. She is the author of the best seller, Visual Strategies for Improving Communication. To learn more or to sign up for her FREE E-newsletter, visit www.UseVisualStrategies.com
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Autism Family Online
WANNA GET INVOLVED?
5 GUIDELINES TO HELP CLINICIANS APPROACH
& WORK WITH PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.
Imagine how you feel when your ideas of what should happen (i.e. when you start a new job, go on vacation, or make plans to have children) collide head on with what really happens (i.e. co-workers are difficult to deal with, hurricane disrupts your vacation, or child begins to present with developmental irregularities).
This is a classic fantasy-meets-reality situation in which feelings of excitement and joy may be replaced by feelings of fear and despair. As a mother of a child with Autism, I have first hand experience regarding the fear, despair, anger, and frustration that challenges a parent. As an Occupational Therapist, I have first hand experience regarding the communication and clinical skills needed to work with clients and their caregivers. Based on my perspectives and experiences from both the giving end and receiving end of therapeutic intervention, I would like to offer 5 guidelines for how to approach parents whose child is being assessed and treated for special needs.
First, knowledge is power
Build your knowledge base and skill set. I recommend that you read and learn about the various issues and stressors caregivers deal with, i.e. sleep deprivation, grief, isolation, strained relations with friends/spouse/family, difficulties managing their daily routines (at home and at work), and challenges brought on by financing therapy. You will also need to learn and practice active listening skills. As you discover the needs of your client and their parents, you will be able to direct them to appropriate resources (online, community, books, support groups, medical professionals...to name a few).
Second, presentation is everything
Develop and master your professionalism. Please consider three main issues:
1) Plan ahead for your treatment sessions...and include several back-up plans! Consider the child's (and parent's) attention span, frustration tolerance, daily schedule, transportation, strengths, needs, and support system.
2) Dress conservatively, be well groomed, be on time, set limits as needed, and be organized.
3) Give the parents ways to communicate their questions and concerns with you. For example, have them write in a notebook, write an email, leave a phone message. Meanwhile, set boundaries to help you protect your personal space and time.
Third, look on the bright side
Teach the parents how to celebrate their child. Demonstrate how to look for and reward even the most microscopic signs of progress. One way I helped my son shorten his outbursts was to cheer and applaud when he inhaled. For that tiny quiet moment, I was able to capture the desired behavior and show him that he can, in fact, stop screaming.
Similarly, capture moments when you see the parent working well with their child and provide them with positive feedback for their efforts. One phrase I have learned to use is, "I appreciate the way you______. I need more of that." I also strongly recommend that you educate yourself and the parent on how to look at progress as if you are looking down from an airplane...when you view the situation from a distance, the topography/progress is much clearer.
Fourth, the light at the end of the tunnel
Be a resource! Using your active listening skills, identify helpful articles, ideas, websites, brochures, books, quotes, references, courses, financial assistance, respite care services, on-line communities, community activities and organizations, etc. Then, gradually and respectfully provide them with this information.
Even with my education and training as an Occupational Therapist, I still found myself easily overwhelmed when information and suggestions where seemingly unloaded on me. Along with information, please give them techniques to use with their child that can easily be incorporated into their daily routine. For example, techniques that can help a child tolerate eating new foods can be done during meal time.
Finally, expect the unexpected
Ask questions and investigate. To better serve the parent, find out their priorities, fears, hopes and concerns. Also, identify
- the parent's learning style
- their time constraints
- physical abilities and limitations
- emotional abilities and limits
- beliefs and preferences
- expectations of therapy
- available resources
- their opinions of how well they will be able to cope with current and future challenges
As a clinician, you are so much more than just another person on the parent's busy schedule. Work to expand your knowledge of issues caregivers face, optimize your professional skills and appearance, empower the parents by leading through example, respectfully guide parents to beneficial resources and techniques. Also, embrace the challenge of including the parent's priorities, needs and expectations into your treatment plan.
You may just find yourself witnessing and experiencing many unexpected joys. Who knows...maybe that parent you help will go on and become a lifeline and beacon of hope for other parents in need!
Denise Meissner is the mother of a child with Autism and an Occupational Therapist. Based on her experiences and training, she created the QCharm Portable Visual Cueing System and co-founded QCharm, LLC. (http://www.qcharm.com)
© 2009 Denise Meissner
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
